lucky tramp
by The Soup
Summary: Luxord challenges a few of his friends to a lovely little game of STRIP POKER... Wait until he loses at his own game! [LuxordxAerithxYuffie!]


**ALL THE LOSERS** were butt-naked.

Axel was the only one not covering his naughty bits, glaring hatefully at Luxord. "I know you cheated," he said. "I know it. There's no way you could have won four times in a row!"

Luxord chuckled, skillfully shuffling his cards. "It's all in the game, lad," he said.

"I think Axel's right. Why are you good at _strip_ poker?" asked Roxas, shivering from the cold and holding his man-parts. Axel thought it was ridiculous. He had seen Roxas naked plenty of times, but it wasn't Axel Roxas was hiding from.

"I win every game I play," Luxord replied, cutting the deck into three piles and stacking them together. "You're nothing but a bunch of smarmy blighters with naught chance of survival against the Gambler of Fate."

Leon rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Can we have our clothes back?"

"No. I rather enjoy having a new wardrobe, my dears."

"Man, British people are evil!" Sora spat, leaning on Leon for warmth. Leon looked at him strangely at first, but then put an arm around him as he held his junk. Sora's teeth were chattering as he said, "We're gonna freeze to death."

"How about another game then?" Luxord asked, soaked in victorious cheer. "Care to lose your pride once more?"

None of the other guys said anything. They were either freezing or giving the silent treatment. Luxord chuckled. "If someone can win against me and my own game, I will have your clothing returned to you."

Still no response from the others. It was obvious that they were thinking about it, but they were all too afraid to give it another shot.

Luxord frowned slightly. "Aww, come along. Don't be shy. After all, we're buddies, aren't we ol' chaps?"

Axel gave him the finger. "Sit and twirl," he said sharply.

Luxord wasn't phased. "All right. Suite yourselves." Luxord began packing up his cards.

"I'll play you," said a voice. It didn't belong to any of Luxord's other victims, and it didn't strike him as familiar. The new challenger had caught his interest.

"Really?" He looked up from his deck, and he was a little breath-taken by the beautiful woman staring at him with determination. His eyebrows flashed, and he leaned back in his chair, holding out his arm in a grand gesture. "Welcome to the game, my lady."

The lady took her seat and waited for Luxord to deal.

"No! Aeris!" Leon freaked out. "You can't do this! You're going to lose more than just our chance of getting our clothes back."

"It's all right, Leon," Aeris said politely. "It's worth a try."

**INDEED IT WAS.** Luxord wasn't sure on how it was happening, but so far he was losing. Aeris was still fully clothed and he was down to his boxers. He started sweating…

"Here you go," said Aeris, smiling as she laid her card-hand down. "What do you have, hmm?"

Luxord's eyebrows flashed again, alive with tension. "Hah!" he slammed his hand down. "You lose this hand!"

Aeris frowned. She shrugged. "Oh well," she said.

Leon slapped his palm to his forehead. "We're doomed."

Roxas shook his head, and said, "No, I think she has more of a chance than we did."

"Yep, Aeris can win this," another voice said. Yet again, it wasn't another victim.

Axel's eye drifted to its corner and looked downwards. "You're just saying that 'cause you have a crush on her, Yuffie."

"Well, that's true," Yuffie said, perkily. "But just look at her, she's got this all nipped up in a bud."

"Once again," Axel told her, "you're just saying that 'cause you have a crush on her… and she's taking her shirt off."

"True, true."

LUXORD COULDN'T BELIEVE it. Someone was actually beating him at his own cup of tea. And it was a woman, no less! He liked the change, he truly did, and he decided that should she lose, she would have to go out on a date with him.

"Well, then, this is an interesting turn of events," he said.

Aeris started untying the neck-strings to her dress. "Ahh, yes. Well, rules are rules." She lowered the halter-top, and Luxord and Yuffie died happily inside.

--  
;I own nothing but the words and situations I control.  
This story was a holiday present for my buddy, redEight! She's the ultimate fan of crack-fics!  
COMPLETE


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